Official reports coming in today have indicated that Janet from HR is pretty certain there is some sort of bug going round at the moment. Sources close to Janet have leaked the update.
We are awaiting Janet’s daily opinion briefing from near the water cooler, expected at 10:30am BST. These briefings are usually reserved for details of the love lives of distant relatives but a change is expected today. We will report in full after a statement has been made.
From what we are currently aware, Janet has overheard someone in head office talking about a serious virus, as well as accidentally catching the headlines of BBC News last night. Luckily she was able to turn over to Richard Osman’s House of Games before hearing too much of that stuff that just makes her upset. We have not been able to verify how upset Janet is at consistently scoring fewer points that Tyger Drew-Honey.
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